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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Witty
Comedian
Funny
Stuff
House
Keep
Place
Home
Hilarious

More quotes by George Carlin

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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
George Carlin
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
George Carlin
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
George Carlin
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
George Carlin
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
George Carlin
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
George Carlin
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
George Carlin
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
George Carlin
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
George Carlin
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin