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Everyone smiles in the same language.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Language
Frowning
Everyone
Smiles
Inspirational
Sarcastic
Life
Witty
Humorous
Laughter
Smile
Funny

More quotes by George Carlin

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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
George Carlin
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
George Carlin
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
George Carlin
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
George Carlin
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
George Carlin
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
George Carlin
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
George Carlin
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
George Carlin
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
George Carlin