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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Scratches
Bomb
Bombs
Name
Names
Everyone
Trying
Life
Scratch
More quotes by George Carlin
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin
I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
George Carlin
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
George Carlin
I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
George Carlin
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George Carlin
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin
When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin
Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
George Carlin
