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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Knew
Transsexual
Guy
Transsexuals
Funny
Homosexuality
Mary
Ambition
Whose
Drink
Humor
More quotes by George Carlin
Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
George Carlin
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
What year did Jesus think it was?
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
George Carlin
People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
George Carlin
With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
George Carlin
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
George Carlin
