Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Homosexuality
Mary
Ambition
Whose
Drink
Humor
Knew
Transsexual
Guy
Transsexuals
More quotes by George Carlin
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
George Carlin
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
George Carlin
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
George Carlin
If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
George Carlin
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
George Carlin
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
George Carlin
Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
George Carlin
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
George Carlin
No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
George Carlin
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
George Carlin
At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
George Carlin
And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
George Carlin