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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Whose
Drink
Humor
Knew
Transsexual
Guy
Transsexuals
Funny
Homosexuality
Mary
Ambition
More quotes by George Carlin
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
George Carlin
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
George Carlin