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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Devil
Name
Brain
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Mind
Workshop
Never
Alzheimer
Workshops
Idle
More quotes by George Carlin
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The status quo sucks.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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