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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Though
Dropped
Force
Bombs
Many
Obviously
Way
Golf
Like
Air
People
Ways
Courses
Course
Ambivalence

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Language always gives you away.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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Religion is just mind control.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
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