Quote

So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Course
Ambivalence
Though
Dropped
Force
Bombs
Many
Obviously
Way
Golf
Like
Air
People
Ways
Courses

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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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