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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bambi
Midnight
Hips
Saws
Show
Shows
Kids
More quotes by George Carlin
Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
George Carlin
A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the hail fellow well met camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.
George Carlin
I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
George Carlin
It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
George Carlin
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
George Carlin
I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
George Carlin
Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
George Carlin
Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin