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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Hips
Saws
Show
Shows
Kids
Bambi
Midnight

More quotes by George Carlin

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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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A pear is a failed apple.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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