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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Orphanage
Staring
Envy
Feeling
Feelings
Remember

More quotes by George Carlin

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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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