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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Something
Never
Thinking
Telescope
Telescopes
Owned
Looking
Science

More quotes by George Carlin

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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
George Carlin
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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