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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Something
Never
Thinking
Telescope
Telescopes
Owned
Looking
Science

More quotes by George Carlin

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
George Carlin
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
George Carlin
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
George Carlin
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
George Carlin
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
George Carlin
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
George Carlin
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
George Carlin
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
George Carlin
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin