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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Telescope
Telescopes
Owned
Looking
Science
Something
Never
Thinking

More quotes by George Carlin

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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
George Carlin
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
George Carlin
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In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
George Carlin
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
George Carlin
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If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George Carlin
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
George Carlin
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
George Carlin
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
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Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin