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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Things
Goes
Think
Saying
Thinking
Less
Speak
Left
Tell
Better
Unsaid
Without
Speaks

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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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