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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Work
Skipped
Something
Grab
Way
Breakfast
Humor
Child
Littles
Little
Children
More quotes by George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
George Carlin
I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
George Carlin
The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
George Carlin
I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
George Carlin
The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
George Carlin
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
George Carlin
Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
George Carlin
