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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Little
Children
Work
Skipped
Something
Grab
Way
Breakfast
Humor
Child
Littles
More quotes by George Carlin
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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