Quote

The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humor
Child
Littles
Little
Children
Work
Skipped
Something
Grab
Way
Breakfast

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
Image
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
Image
You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
George Carlin
Image
There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
George Carlin
Image
The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
Image
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
Image
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
Image
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Image
Life is a series of dogs.
George Carlin
Image
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
Image
The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
George Carlin
Image
Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
George Carlin
Image
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin
Image
We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
George Carlin
Image
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
Image
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
George Carlin
Image
In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
George Carlin
Image
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
Image
When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
Image
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin