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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Every
Always
People
Poll
Polls
Generally
Understood
Percent

More quotes by George Carlin

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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
George Carlin
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
George Carlin