Quote

I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Team
Sarcastic
Maybe
Individuality
Funny
Witty
Often
Humorous
Tell
Independence
Someone
Somewhere
Going
Integrity
Way
Along
Warn

More quotes by George Carlin

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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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