Quote

How is it possible to have a civil war?

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
War
Inspirational
Life
Sarcastic
Witty
Civil
Humorous
Possible

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
George Carlin
Image
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
Image
That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
George Carlin
Image
No comment is a comment.
George Carlin
Image
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
George Carlin
Image
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
Image
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
Image
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
Image
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
Image
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
Image
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
Image
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
George Carlin
Image
The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
George Carlin
Image
Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
George Carlin
Image
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
Image
Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
George Carlin
Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
Image
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
George Carlin
Image
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
Image
I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin