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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Everything
Witty
Humorous
God
Dies
Perfect
Funny
Makes
Ever
Sarcastic
More quotes by George Carlin
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
George Carlin
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
George Carlin
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
George Carlin
Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
George Carlin
When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
George Carlin
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
George Carlin
In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
George Carlin
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
