Quote

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Dies
Perfect
Funny
Makes
Ever
Sarcastic
Everything
Witty
Humorous
God

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
George Carlin
Image
The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
George Carlin
Image
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
Image
Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
George Carlin
Image
People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
Image
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
George Carlin
Image
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
Image
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
George Carlin
Image
I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
Image
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
Image
The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
George Carlin
Image
Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
Image
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
George Carlin
Image
The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
Image
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
Image
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Image
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
Image
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
George Carlin
Image
Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
George Carlin