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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Music
Ever
Come
Thing
Good
Humor
Religion
Funny

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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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Life is a zero sum game.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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