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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Driveway
Park
Parks
Silly
Drive

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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
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