Quote

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Driveway
Park
Parks
Silly
Drive

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
Image
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
Image
Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
George Carlin
Image
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
Image
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
Image
I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
George Carlin
Image
I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
Image
Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
George Carlin
Image
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
George Carlin
Image
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
Image
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
George Carlin
Image
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
George Carlin
Image
People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
Image
Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
George Carlin
Image
The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
Image
No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
George Carlin
Image
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George Carlin
Image
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
Image
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
Image
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin