Quote

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Littles
Bottles
Ever
Saving
Little
Investment
Trying
Spend
Life
Humor
Apiece
People
Wonder
Spelling
Water
Backward
Funny
Savings

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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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