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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Ever
Saving
Little
Investment
Trying
Spend
Life
Humor
Apiece
People
Wonder
Spelling
Water
Backward
Funny
Savings
Littles
Bottles
More quotes by George Carlin
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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