Quote

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Men
Rivers
Angling
Sea
Fisherman
Drink
Lakes
Humor
Fishing
Teach
Fish
Funny
Fishes
Give
Beer
Giving
Boat
Fisheries

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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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No comment is a comment.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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