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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Volunteer
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Ever
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Work
Republicans
Long
Republican
More quotes by George Carlin
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
