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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Long
Republican
Time
Interested
People
Pay
Volunteers
Philosophy
Volunteer
Community
Wondered
Ever
Encouraging
Trying
Communities
Work
Republicans

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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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