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Life is tough, then you die.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Tough
Dies
Life
More quotes by George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
George Carlin
Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
George Carlin
No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
George Carlin
Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
George Carlin
Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
George Carlin
We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
George Carlin
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
George Carlin
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
George Carlin
The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
George Carlin
