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Life is tough, then you die.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Tough
Dies
Life

More quotes by George Carlin

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A pear is a failed apple.
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I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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