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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Suffering
Funny
Enjoy
Doe
Mean
Diarrhea
People
Enjoys
Suffer
Humor
More quotes by George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
George Carlin
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
George Carlin
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
