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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humor
Suffering
Funny
Enjoy
Doe
Mean
Diarrhea
People
Enjoys
Suffer

More quotes by George Carlin

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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George Carlin
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
George Carlin
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
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We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
George Carlin
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
George Carlin
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
George Carlin
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
George Carlin
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
George Carlin
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin