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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Mean
Diarrhea
People
Enjoys
Suffer
Humor
Suffering
Funny
Enjoy
Doe

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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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