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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wings
Walk
Walks
Called
Without
Would

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The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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Language always gives you away.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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