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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Walk
Walks
Called
Without
Would
Wings

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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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Your home is your refuge.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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