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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Sarcastic
Witty
Humorous
Funny
Idea
Ideas
Really
Good

More quotes by George Carlin

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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
George Carlin
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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