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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Witty
Humorous
Funny
Idea
Ideas
Really
Good
People
Sarcastic

More quotes by George Carlin

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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
George Carlin
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George Carlin
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
George Carlin
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
George Carlin
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
George Carlin
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
George Carlin
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You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
George Carlin
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
George Carlin
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
George Carlin
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
George Carlin
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin