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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Idea
Ideas
Really
Good
Sarcastic
People
Witty
Humorous
Funny

More quotes by George Carlin

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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
George Carlin
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
George Carlin
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
George Carlin
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
George Carlin
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George Carlin
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
George Carlin
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
George Carlin
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin