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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humorous
Funny
Idea
Ideas
Really
Good
People
Sarcastic
Witty
More quotes by George Carlin
I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
George Carlin
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
George Carlin
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
George Carlin
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin
How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
George Carlin
No comment is a comment.
George Carlin
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
George Carlin
Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
George Carlin
Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
