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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sweater
Sweaters
Pink
Better
Look
Looks
Always
Tits

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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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