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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sweaters
Pink
Better
Look
Looks
Always
Tits
Sweater

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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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