Quote

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Philosophy
Bits
Practice
Call
Funny
Unnerving
Safety
Doctors
Health

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
George Carlin
Image
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Image
I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin
Image
Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin
Image
Life is not that complicated.
George Carlin
Image
I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
George Carlin
Image
The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
Image
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
Image
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
George Carlin
Image
In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
George Carlin
Image
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
Image
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
Image
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
Image
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
Image
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
George Carlin
Image
The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
George Carlin
Image
I do something about the weather. I stay home.
George Carlin
Image
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
Image
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
George Carlin
Image
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin