Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Suck
Lots
Trouble
Ideas
More quotes by George Carlin
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
George Carlin
I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
George Carlin
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
George Carlin
I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
George Carlin
Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
George Carlin
I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
George Carlin
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the hail fellow well met camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.
George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
Life is tough, then you die.
George Carlin
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
