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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bullshit
Folks

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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
George Carlin
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
George Carlin