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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bullshit
Folks

More quotes by George Carlin

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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
George Carlin
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
George Carlin
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
George Carlin
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
George Carlin
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
George Carlin
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
George Carlin
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
George Carlin
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin