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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bullshit
Folks

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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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