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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Character
Think
Thinking
Sarcastic
Witty
Humorous
Genuine
Therefore

More quotes by George Carlin

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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
George Carlin
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Your home is your refuge.
George Carlin
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
George Carlin
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
George Carlin
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
George Carlin
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
George Carlin
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
George Carlin
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
George Carlin
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
George Carlin
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Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
George Carlin
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Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
George Carlin