Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humor
Animal
Funny
Crackers
Permitted
Sarcastic
Vegetarian
Witty
Humorous
More quotes by George Carlin
What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
George Carlin
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
George Carlin
My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
George Carlin
You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
George Carlin
I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin
I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
George Carlin
