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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humorous
Humor
Animal
Funny
Crackers
Permitted
Sarcastic
Vegetarian
Witty
More quotes by George Carlin
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
George Carlin
I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
George Carlin
Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
George Carlin
I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
George Carlin
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George Carlin
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
