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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Entertainment
Missing
Pure
Point
Funny
Anything
Life
More quotes by George Carlin
One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
George Carlin
Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
George Carlin
Life is a zero sum game.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
George Carlin
If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
George Carlin
In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
George Carlin
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
George Carlin
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
George Carlin
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
George Carlin
There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
George Carlin
Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
George Carlin
