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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Life
People
Entertainment
Missing
Pure
Point
Funny
Anything
More quotes by George Carlin
In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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