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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Missing
Pure
Point
Funny
Anything
Life
People
Entertainment
More quotes by George Carlin
People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
George Carlin
One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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I do something about the weather. I stay home.
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
George Carlin
